Roast My Website

Why it matters

Your website is your most permanent first impression. In the first five seconds, a visitor decides whether you are credible, whether you understand their problem, and whether they should keep scrolling or hit back. Everything on the page — the headline, the value proposition, the social proof, the CTA — either moves that decision forward or kills it.

This roast reads your site the way your customers do. The savage roast finds the copy that sounds like everyone else. The customer persona tells you how a first-time visitor actually feels. The SEO analysis checks whether Google can understand and rank your content. And the designer's perspective surfaces the messaging problems behind the visuals — because a beautiful site with vague copy still loses the sale.

Common mistakes

• A headline that names your product, not your outcome. "We build software solutions" tells a visitor nothing about whether you solve their problem. The headline should state the result they get.
• Feature-led copy instead of benefit-led. Features are what you built; benefits are what the visitor feels. "256-bit encryption" means nothing. "Your data stays yours" means everything.
• No clarity on who the site is for. If your homepage could serve three different audiences, it serves none. One clear audience and one clear action beats generic reach.
• Missing or buried social proof. Logos, testimonials, and numbers belong near the CTA, not at the bottom of the page where no one scrolls.
• A vague call to action. "Learn More" and "Get Started" do not tell the visitor what happens next. "Book Your Free Audit" does.
• SEO basics ignored. No meta description, no structured data, no heading hierarchy, and content that does not answer the query means Google cannot rank what you built.

The checklist

• Headline states the outcome, not the offering. Within 3 seconds, a visitor should know what you do and for whom.
• Subheadline adds specificity. One line that separates you from the thousand other sites saying the same thing.
• Above-the-fold CTA is specific and singular. One primary action. Two competing CTAs dilute the click.
• Social proof within the first screen. A logo strip, a number, or a strong testimonial near the top.
• Benefits before features. Feature claims should always be paired with the outcome they produce.
• Objections addressed. Price concerns, risk, time to value, trust — answer the objections that stop the scroll.
• Unique meta title and description. Written for humans, with the keyword in the right places.
• One H1, logical H2/H3 hierarchy. Both for readers and for Google's understanding of your page.
• Mobile-first: CTA reachable without scrolling hero. Most traffic is mobile — the CTA must not live below the fold on a phone.
• A clear next step after the CTA. Confirmation, calendar, download — the promise of the click is fulfilled.

How to use Website

1. Paste your homepage copy. Headline, subheadline, hero, feature sections, CTA. The more you paste, the sharper the read.
2. Run the customer persona. This is the closest simulation of a first-time visitor you will get.
3. Run the SEO analysis. Check whether Google can understand and rank your content as it is written.
4. Fix the highest-impact issues. Headline and CTA first — they touch every visitor. Then proof, then SEO.
5. Re-roast the revised copy. Confirm the rewrite actually resolves the problems before it ships.

What this roast checks

A website has about three seconds to make a visitor stay. The roast reads your homepage the way first-time visitors actually read it. The customer persona scans for the single biggest problem: can anyone tell what you do and for whom within the first screen? The SEO persona checks title tags, heading hierarchy, meta descriptions, and internal linking against what search engines expect. The designer persona judges hierarchy, spacing, and visual noise. The savage persona calls out vague headlines and copy that talks about features nobody asked for.

5 pro tips from the review

• State the outcome above the fold. If a stranger cannot say what your site does for them in three seconds, every other fix is secondary.
• One CTA per screen. Competing buttons split attention and lower your click-through rate.
• Put social proof next to the CTA, not at the bottom. Logos, numbers, or a testimonial where the decision happens.
• Write for the visitor, not your internal team. Company jargon and mission-speak cost you clarity in the first scan.
• Fix title and meta description on every page. Unique, descriptive metadata is the minimum bar for organic traffic.

By the numbers

Related guides

• Website Copy That Converts
• Website Trust Signals
• Website Speed Optimization
• SaaS Landing Page Conversion

Roast a famous website

• Roast Notion's Website
• Roast Stripe's Website
• Roast Apple's Website
• Roast Airbnb's Website